Sports News Without Fear, Favor or Compromise. Which vodka do you think is the shittiest of the shittiest? She vowed not to try again. Here are 15 great vodka makers to try. Crown Russe came in third. It’s clean and slightly grassy, with just that pleasant herbal note differentiating it from 80-proof spring water. After revealing these results to my subjects, Vince daringly admitted, “Vlad wasn’t that bad.”. Since vodka is about 60% water, this brand is especially known for using high-quality water in its products, which does contribute to the price. The stereotype that bad vodka gives you headaches is true in some cases because it’s made with many impurities. Cîroc, unlike most vodka brands, is made with French grapes. Round 2: Pinnacle. The first domestically produced vodka in the United States was Smirnoff. 1. There are some good cheap vodka brands use grains to distill their spirits while other top inexpensive vodkas use potatoes. If you drink vodka, it’s absolutely worth your while to try several of them in a controlled setting—the cemetery at the edge of town on a moonless night, say, or your kitchen table—and figure out which one offers the right combination of flavor and price to fulfill your particular liver’s needs. Vodka in Amerika. To view our privacy policy in full, click here. It remains a top choice for many drinkers and offers excellent versatility in cocktails. There’s no burn to speak of, and now I get why my pal Nadir drinks it by the gallon. A few of the best inexpensive vodka brands are perfectly delicious when consumed neat, and others are more suited to be great with mixers. It’s got a mix of green mint, citrus and sweet pea flavors with just a hint of white pepper on the tongue for the finish. Also, 93 percent of corn planted in the U.S. is genetically modified, so look for bourbon brands that have ‘distilled using 100 percent non-GMO corn’ on the label.” 7. They must take the shot that I hand them, and then write down which vodka they believe it is. I must once and for all answer such a critical college question: which is…the shittiest of the shittiest? Along with their characteristics, they also have cocktail recipes tailored with various flavors that assures a burst of flavors. But vodka has uses far beyond simply riling up the joyless prigs who pretend to prefer chartreuse. New Amsterdam Straight Gin. A lower quality vodka is going to have a taste that is a bit hard to stomach and is going to burn like crazy going down. 8. They boldly claimed to have just consumed Crown Russe. Their wide array of flavors ranging from Apple, Red Berry, French Vanilla, Mango, Pineapple, Peach, Coconut and Summer Colada. The staple of every Penn State student’s freshman year…. A behind-the-bar favorite, this 100% rye vodka has more going for it than just its price. Per our updated privacy policy, we use cookies to track your browsing behavior on our site and provide you with ads or other offers that may be relevant to you. Damn, Diddy got me! 10. What's the difference between vanilla vodka and frosting-flavored vodka? The brand name derives from the well-known Moscow-based Smirnov family. It’s zesty, sweet and spicy. From bloody marys to classic martinis and cosmos, these are the best vodkas to stock your bar with. After downing it like champs, they all came to the same conclusion that, “it wasn’t particularly awful.”, They all unanimously voted the Crown Russe as Svedka, Because we needed an excuse to finally finish the bottle that’s been chilling on our bar…, As I handed them each the second shot, Vince looked over at me to ask, “Can I have water to clean my pallet?”, However, instead of having water, they all decided it would be a great idea to chase the shitty vodka down with some good ol’ shitty Franzia…, (Drinking Franzia out of a straw as a chaser…If that’s your strategy to survive this, good luck! The offerings have expanded greatly, so if you're looking for apple, citrus, mango, peach, pineapple, or watermelon vodka, New Amsterdam has … The Best Vodka Brands … If you are on a tight budget you may want to buy one of the less expensive brands. While there are many vodkas to explore, a few vodka brands have risen to the top. I’m begging.” Then continued, “I’ll slap the bag instead.”. Top 10 Best Vodka Brands – 2021. The brand still honors the juniper- and citrus-forward recipe that James Burrough developed when he started distilling the spirit in London in the 1800s. These are the best cheap vodka brands, ranked from best to worst by user votes. In unison, they matter-of-factly screamed, “It’s 100% Vlad!”. Not much good, nothing bad, and cheaper than most of the stuff here. Rhianna, Meghan and Vince cheersed to their first shot. In fact, the most popular spirit consumed in the United States is not whiskey, but vodka. I kindly nominated myself to be the sober host of this little experiment while three brave souls agreed to (were tricked into) being the test subjects. And there’s some truth to that, but not as much as I’d expected when I set out to do this blind taste test. Cool skull-shaped bottle, true, but not cooler than 95 socks and a bottle of Cossack. The disgusted looks on their faces grew permanent as they tried to force this poison into their bodies. Vodka: Bad news, “It’s clear so it must be healthier” people: Vodka is way down at number seven. According to this experiment, Pinnacle is the shittiest of the shittiest at a slightly more expensive price. The most ubiquitous vodka brand in the United States, Tito's is the best vodka to keep stocked up at home for any sipping occasion. Vodka consumption and production is no longer confined to the countries of the vodka belt. Svedka received the second strongest reaction. Red Berry is one of the originals in the portfolio, and the coconut vodka rivals that from top-shelf brands. They began to flail their arms around while yelling in disgust at the repugnance that just slid down all of their throats. Best for Martinis. This is Dan Aykroyd’s high-end Canadian joint. However, there is a relatively new brand Polish Vodka called KU:L Vodka. As a beverage, it’s perfectly unobtrusive, and therefore the ideal alcohol for bloody or otherwise busy drinks. Because of the family’s association with the royal court of Tsar Alexander III, Vladimir Smirnov fled … In some places, vodka is even akin to a national beverage. This wheat variety debuted internationally as one of the classic “advertising in a bottle” brands of the 1980s, which could account for its recent sales decline. Ruble (USA; not sold at BevMo, retails for about $7). It smells like sweet musty corn, and the flavor is so sweet as to be almost fruity. If three words could define college, they would be: cheap, shitty alcohol. He lives in Cambridge, Mass., and has visited all of the other New England states, including, come to think of it, Vermont. Rheingold Lager (let's assume its adherents call it Rheiny) has a cool name, a cool label, a cool back story, and a terrible flavor. First and foremost, of course, vodka invented brunch. Perhaps the biggest success story in all of American vodka is that of Tito Beveridge, who despite his perfect name for the craft, took a circuitous route to distillation. Despite the fact that Tito’s recently overtook Smirnoff for the American crown, the ubiquitous brand remains the world’s number one. And in their defense, it’s tempting to dismiss a clear, largely odorless and flavorless liquor as fit for nothing more than making teens drunk and rappers rich, and I confess that, for all my populist posturing, I don’t drink a ton of the stuff. So, you might want to bite your tongue next time you think about giving your friend crap about ordering a gin-and-tonic, while you throw back your shot of Fireball. And vodka makes up about 29% of the total spirits sold around the world in … Smirnoff’s a bad deal, man. 13. But a clean, well-behaved dog, at least. Will Gordon loves life and tolerates dissent. Cupcake Frosting Vodka. Update to privacy policy and how we use cookies So which cheap vodka wins the title as the “shittiest of the shittiest?”. Their OG flavor has subtle hints of buttercream and mint, so this is the perfect vodka for those with a sweet tooth. Owned by renowned designer Leon Verres, Billionaire Vodka is the most expensive vodka brand in the world. The Rankings: All 10 Gins, Ranked From Worst to Best. Yes, I wanted Diddy Juice to finish last, but what can you do? SMOOTHEST. And that same simplicity helps it play a crucial supporting role in stripped-down classics like the Cranberry Juice and Ice. It turns out there’s more variation that that. They asked if they can do process of elimination to guess which vodka the last one is. Round 3: Svedka. 4. Until then, just do as I say. It’s corn-based, quadruple-distilled, filtered through fuckin’ diamonds, costs more than 100 socks, and isn’t particularly good. Whether you're taking shots or making a mixed drink, you can never go wrong with a bottle of vodka. I assumed they would fall into two categories: more like water (good!) All vodka must be a minimum of 37.5% alcohol to be considered vodka by European standards, but most traditional vodkas are 40% alcohol (AKA - 80 proof). It dominates the vodka market and at the end of the fiscal year, 2017, showed a development of 2% from last year to register its sales figures at 26.0 million cases.. Smirnoff is a Russian origin vodka brand that was introduced in the year 1860s in Moscow by its founder Pyotr Arsenievich Smirnov. This is a list of brands of vodka.Vodka is a distilled beverage composed primarily of water and ethanol, sometimes with traces of impurities and flavorings.Vodka is made by the distillation of fermented substances such as grains, potatoes, or sometimes fruits or sugar.The classic preparation is performed using grain or potatoes, The grains or potatoes based vodka has a neutral flavor profile. That’s just because I really like whiskey and gin, though. This corn-bred Texan export wins all sorts of awards, which seems fair enough. 10. Nikka Coffey Vodka. This one could be a shot to my credibility, because there’s decent reason to believe Cossack is the exact same vodka as Ruble: They both come from Allen’s Ltd., of beautiful Somerville, Mass., and they appeal to the same client base. Gin is a strong liquor. It has an overwrought floral and citrus aroma that evokes drugstore perfume, and it tastes roughly the same. I realized taking straight shots of shitty vodka might be traumatizing enough, so instead of blindfolding Rhianna, Meghan, and Vince (yes that was my original plan…), I had them sit on the couch in our living room, while I prepared them shots from the kitchen. Seagram's Peach Tea Flavored Vodka. Once sold for $3,000 a bottle, this now discontinued Stoli vodka is worth over $5,000. And it’s also pretty fair vodka: the mid-priced flavorless ideal, other than a pleasant if slightly hot hint of mint. I like England and I like wheat, but I do not care much for this English wheat vodka. I tasted all of the vodkas blind in waves of three or so at a time. Cossack (USA; not sold at BevMo, retails for around $7). 13. Without it, and other botanicals, you’re basically drinking vodka. But to no avail, I poured them each one more shot. Can you tell the difference between the shittiest of shitty vodkas? But, that said, it’ll do. It smells a bit more like nail polish remover than I typically care for in my foodstuffs, and it makes a harsh, oily impression that disqualifies it from all but the lightest duty (i.e., Jell-O shots). That shot was not that bad.” They voted it must be Pinnacle. By using our site, you agree to these terms. The Worldwide Vodka Market. This French wheat-based vodka opens with a pretty mean aroma, but that burns off quickly to leave a soft and fine flavor that shows a bit of light lemon and not much else. With a slight hint of lemon, the flavor of this vodka is supposed to be subtle. That being said, there is a lot of bad vodka out there. It originates from Poland and Russia and actually means 'water' as it derives from the Russian word 'voda.' DMARGE - The Playbook For The Modern Man. Americans drink more vodka than any other spirit, although whiskey has been gaining ground in recent years. Stoli is fairly bland beyond a slight black pepper kick (delivered by aforementioned dog). Americans drink more vodka than any other spirit, although whiskey has been gaining ground in recent years. I really wanted this to do poorly, so I could convince him to shop more frugally, but this is absolutely worth the dedicated vodka drinker’s dough. They are reliable, reasonably priced, and appear on nearly every liquor store shelf and back bar across the globe. Round 1: Crown Russe. Vodka serves a lot of purposes for the enlightened booze bag, myself included. See our full list of the 20 best vodkas for 2020 now! It smells like 82-octane gasoline and tastes like a year-old shower-curtain liner that’s been repurposed as a Slip’N Slide slicked down with water from a YMCA swimming pool. There are expensive name brands out there that are pricey, but their taste is on the level of something you could find at your corner bodega. Tito’s Vodka is a corn-based spirit made by the premier craft distillery in Texas. Moments before beginning our experiment, Rhianna attempted to “slap the bag” for the first time in her life (she’s a senior… where has she been?). I quickly formed enemies. But it turns out that the vodka, while not as good as the ads, isn’t bad, either. His quintuple-distilled French grape vodka is very damn good. The perception that it’s all largely the same is another reason vodka isn’t as beloved by booze talkers, writers, mixers, and rankers as it is by drinkers. ), After taking the shot, repulsed looks appeared on all three of their faces. Before taking the final shot, Rhianna decided to switch cups with Vince because she, “wanted the one with less.”. To find the best vodka brands at every price, VinePair tasted dozens of spirits from different countries and base grains. By Lauren Hubbard. Find him on Twitter @WillGordonAgain. My roommates begged for me to let them free. All three of them were still traumatized from what they thought was Vlad and begged me not to make them continue. These are the world's best vodka brands. Microdistilled in small batches in Austin, Texas, for a super crisp and clean finish, Tito's can certainly go toe-to-toe with any luxury vodka. And for about $14, you haven't got any reason not to indulge. Vodka makes learning fun. Vodka also serves as a silently fortifying backdrop that allows you to explore all the exotic new juices, extracts, and bitters on the market these days. Rhianna and Meghan (my two roommates) and Vince (Rhianna’s boyfriend) courageously (naively) gave consent. This nasty bastard greets your nose with a blast of lemon-scented battery acid, then turns sour and rancid on your tongue. Probably not the most hyped-up brand, Three Olives is a unique vodka from England that comes in a super-cool flavor, Loopy, which basically tastes like Fruity Pebbles. Then, Rhianna tried to reason with me. The following ranking is based strictly on taste, as determined by me alone at my desk one night last week. More of the gasoline-scented bathroom plastic, but not quite as ferocious as the Ruble. Branding can have a huge impact on how you feel about a particular bottle of vodka. Ketel One, made from wheat, has essentially no aroma leading into its soft, fruity flavor. They all looked at me with more disgusted faces, courageously took the shot, and collectively agreed, “Wow. Tito’s. Graduate (Poland, not sold at BevMo, retails for around $10). She embarrassingly failed managing to slap it completely out of Meghan’s hands and onto the floor before getting a taste of Franzia on her tongue. The Best Vodka Brands to Stock Your Bar Cart With. We tasted dozens of vodka brands to find the best vodka bottles for every budget. This vodka brand comes from Japan’s most famous whiskey manufacturers who make it clean, crisp and one of the best vodka brands available. There is not enough money in the world…. and less like water (bad!). A bit of lemon, a lesser bit of pine. However, in that moment of desperation, she pleaded, “Please don’t make me take this. The other is the inclusion of juniper in the distilling process. Despite—eh, who are we kidding, because of—its mass appeal, vodka is disdained by most cocktail snobs, which is reason enough to celebrate its continued prominence. But for whatever reason, I found the Cossack to be better, and in fact almost downright pleasant, with a slightly creamy, corny character that evoked nice moonshine. S more variation that that socks and a bottle of vodka brands to the. The staple of every Penn State student ’ s not bad, either, here... Sweet musty corn, and then write down which vodka the last one.... Make me take this smells like sweet musty corn, and collectively agreed, Wow! More vodka than any other spirit, although whiskey has been around for.... 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